The Baptizer stands in the middle of a wrestling ring, microphone in hand. Around the ring are his squad of followers, along with many other wrestlers who seem very interested in what he’s about to say.
(“Matt, I have been on the edge of my seat wondering what this announcement is going to be. There’s been a lot of speculation all week long.”
“Yeah, Luke, now for the folks at home who might just now be tuning in, I want to take you back to last week. We saw the C-Squad come out and sort of try to answer the call that The Baptizer made to join his crew, but of course - well, there was some doubt about their sincerity.”
“Rightfully so, I’d say.”
“Yeah, rightfully so for sure. Well, this bout ended the same way pretty much all of their interactions do, but after the fireworks died down, we heard from The Baptizer that he was going to be bringing someone new into the fold - someone that it sounds like might really shake things up for the roster.”
“Who do you think it could be? Any ideas?”
“I couldn’t say, but it looks like we’re about to find out.”)
“Welcome, one and all, to this wilderness we call life!” The Baptizer’s opening catchphrase delights the audience, as always. “Now, apparently my little promo last week really ruffled some feathers. All week long people have been asking me one question: ‘Who?’ People want to know who it is that I’m going to be bringing up in here that’s such a big deal and such a big threat. Who could possibly be an even bigger pain in the ass than I am?” He can’t help but share a knowing smirk with the audience as he says this. They are eating it up. “Well, how about we cut to the chase.”
Music begins playing, and a smattering of the audience perks up in recognition at the walkout track for J.C., otherwise known as “The Carpenter’s Son.” A man wearing work gloves, overalls, and a tool belt emerges onto the stage carrying a hammer. He’s not terribly impressive looking when it comes to his stature, but the sheer magnitude of confidence he walks with lets the audience know he’s not some rookie to be messed with.
(“J.C.?! That IS J.C. isn’t it, Luke? That’s The Carpenter’s Son. That’s the big reveal?! You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“You know, there were a LOT of names thrown around this week about who the big surprise was going to be, but I don’t think ANYONE guessed it’d be him.”
“Why?! Who asked for this???”)
The Carpenter’s Son has arrived at the ring. Nobody seems to know quite what to make of this, and those around the ring move aside to let him in. The moment he’s in the ring, The Baptizer grabs him in a huge embrace. The audience cheers, although many of them don’t quite know yet why they’re cheering for this.
“Now, now, now.... I can see the confusion on your faces,” The Baptizer says. “Let me explain. It seems to me that most of you in this room don’t recognize this man here with me. Now some of you who follow the Independents, you might have seen his face a time or two, yes?” Those who follow the Indys and a handful of people who want their neighbors to think they follow the Indys cheer. “Well, you may not know..... This guy? He and I go WAAAAYYYY back. And I’m not talking college. I’m not talking high school. He and I go way back to before we could even talk. This man isn’t just a friend of mine. He’s my blood. He’s family. The Carpenter’s Son and I - we’re cousins for LIFE, man!”
(“Now, you know.... That IS true, Matt. I sort of forgot about that, but these guys are actually cousins.”
“Really? That’s wild.”
“Maybe this is going to be more interesting than I initially thought.”
“Gotta hope.”)
“Now, you all may not know why I invited him here, but he does. You see, I’ve been bringing people here into MY fold, trying to change the way things are done around here and leave this place better than I found it. But I can’t do that alone. No, I needed help from the best of the best. And you might not know it yet, but you gon’ learn - this guy is THE best.”
The Carpenter’s Son takes the mic from The Baptizer. The Baptizer seems a little surprised by this, and there’s a moment of tense silence as the audience wonders if this is about to go sideways.
“Now, B, we talked about this. I’m just The Carpenter’s Son. Let’s face it. These people out here, they don’t know me from Adam. But they know YOU!” He turns to the audience for confirmation. “Am I right?” The audience cheers. “They trust YOU!” A louder cheer. “They believe in YOU and what YOU’RE doing.” A louder cheer yet. “So, here’s the thing. I’m down to change the game with you. I’m down to transform everything about this industry. But before I can help change this industry, I MYSELF need to change. And I can’t do that without YOU.”
The Baptizer looks completely confused now.
“You know what you have to do, B.” The Carpenter’s Son gives him a knowing look, and stands as so many others have before directly in front of The Baptizer with his arms spread wide, waiting. The Baptizer seems to be uncertain of what his next move should be, but a quiet chant of “Do it! Do it! Do it!’ has started to emerge from the stands. The Carpenter’s Son gives a gentle wave of his hand to encourage the audience, who grows louder. “DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!”
The Baptizer seems to have no other choice. He walks forward and takes the hammer from J.C. He tosses it aside. He removes the tool belt and tosses that aside. He gestures to one of his followers who hands him a sash that matches the ones all the other followers of The Baptizer wear. J.C. kneels before The Baptizer, who places the sash over his shoulders, kisses his forehead, and says “Welcome to the fold, my brother.”
Almost before The Baptizer can get the words out, every light in the building goes out. There’s excited murmuring around the entire arena. They’ve seen this ritual over a dozen times now, and nothing like this has ever happened.
(“What on earth.....?”
“I don’t know if I like this, Luke.”)
A single spotlight comes on from somewhere overhead and illuminates The Carpenter’s Son. Or, at least, the person who used to be The Carpenter’s Son. But he appears to have been utterly transformed. No longer in the overalls he walked in with, but now in the full regalia of a professor. And he appears to be frozen as, out of seemingly nowhere and everywhere, a mystical voice - neither male nor female - says “THIS IS MY SON, AND I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. HE WILL BE YOUR TEACHER.” The spotlight goes back out, once again leaving the arena in darkness.
(“That voice, Matt. That voice. Who - or what - was that?”
“I couldn’t begin to guess. She.... He.... It sounded so.... I don’t know.... I almost want to say holy.”
“Are you trying to tell me that was the voice of God?”
“I don’t know, man. I don’t know anything anymore after the last 10 minutes we’ve all witnessed.”)
As the darkness draws on, chants from the audience now recognizing the magnitude of what they just saw emerge. “Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!”
And as quickly as they switched off, all of the lights turn back on. This shocks the audience back into silence. Everyone stands and gapes at the man in regalia. Finally The Baptizer breaks this silence.
“Well, what did I tell you?! I told you he was gonna be a game changer!” The audience now cheers, fully behind this new man. “Now, J.C., you may have walked in here as The Carpenter’s Son, but clearly you ain’t just some carpenter’s son anymore! No sir! Just look at you. You’ve got a new look, it sounds like you might have a new daddy, mmmm...?” The new man laughs as the audience takes up the chant of “Who’s your Daddy?” After a few moments of letting the audience do its thing The Baptizer raises the mic again. The audience quiets, as they’re now very invested in what is coming next.
“So..... I think it’s only fitting you get a new name! And I think She... He.... Whatever THAT was,” he gestures at the sky, “has already provided it. You’re not The Carpenter’s Son anymore. You’re THE TEACHER!” The audience loves it. But suddenly The Baptizer’s mood seems to shift as he walks right up face-to-face with The Teacher, and says in a very serious tone. “And I’ve got just one thing to say to you, Teacher man.” The audience holds its breath. The Baptizer grins. “Welcome home!”
As the two men in the middle of the ring embrace with joy, the audience chants “Welcome home! Welcome home!”
Suddenly, the screaming metal guitar of The Accuser’s entrance music cuts through the joy and chants. The “holy shit” chants resume as the hulking behemoth of a man, The Accuser, walks out holding his title belt up high for all to see. He’s staring down The Teacher. He walks with purpose toward the ring. He steps over the top rope with an unsettling ease. He walks directly up to The Teacher and The Baptizer, now standing side-by-side facing him. He grabs the microphone from The Baptizer, takes one hand and pushes The Baptizer off to the side. The Teacher holds out his hand toward The Baptizer as if to say “It’s okay, I’ve got this.” The Accuser stands with his face mere inches from The Teacher’s.
“So, you think you’re the next big thing around here?” His quiet calmness is far more terrifying than if he were screaming. “Well, we’ll just see about that. Two weeks from this Saturday. You. Me. Hell On The Hill. No holds barred. I’ll teach you a thing or two. I’ll show you who your daddy REALLY is.” He drops the mic and steps back, holding the title belt high above his head.
The audience is now screaming in unison as one voice “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
(“What they’re saying, Luke!”
“Matt, I’ve got three words for ya: Sign me up!”)
To be continued.....